the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
