I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
