if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
is that a dick in a sweater?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
