I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
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I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
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DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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