She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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