Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
