I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
