GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
