Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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