I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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