k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize