if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You don't make any sense
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