I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
