I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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