So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
