I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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