Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I could fuck to npr.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
