are you still at the devil's house?
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize