so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
