The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
