i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
