He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
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you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
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Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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