ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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