I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Bring me that man meat
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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