Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
