I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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