Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
