The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
