Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
