I just made out with a guy for $7.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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