it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
