Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
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