She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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