brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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