you guys were way drunker than both of me
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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