News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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