i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
