508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
