Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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