She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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