It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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