u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
