it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
