My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
