just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
