I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize