I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
