what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
