just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
ugly people sure do ruin things
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
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