Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
