so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
