i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
