Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
