my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
