His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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