In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
