you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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