Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
