Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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